rebirth into fire
by kopitou
Summary: Someone dies and is reincarnated as Okumura Rin, their dying wish being to retain their memories in their next life. Okumura Rin is not this person, but those memories influence him, and in turn influence the world around him.
1. Chapter 1

A/N:

Thanks for choosing to read my story! Not much to say in the beginning. Only the first part is in first person, the rest of the story will not be, I promise. I know some people super hate first person, and I can get kind of annoyed by it sometimes too, but the scene felt best with it so.. That's what I went with.

More notes at the end.

* * *

You're alright now.

I feel a gentle hand on my head, running their fingers through my hair soothingly. I sigh, leaning into the touch.

 _You were so brave. I'm so proud of you._

My body feels soft, light, as if I were floating on air. It's warm, like laying in the sun. I feel at peace, as if I had never felt pain before.

 _You fought so well, but it's time to go now._

"Is it? I don't wanna go." My voice whispers.

 _I'm sorry._

My breathe hitches, and I feel a tear run down my cheek. "I'm scared."

They take my hand.

 _I'll walk with you, okay?_

Towards the light, they begin walking, leading me slowly to a new beginning.

I stop at the threshold. "I don't want to forget." I whisper. "I don't want to let go. Even if it hurts, these are my precious memories..."

They don't say anything for a while, and it unsettles me.

"Please," I beg, my voice breaking.

There's more silence for a moment, before soft lips brush my forehead.

 _You'll be okay, I promise._

I step beyond the line, and a child begins to cry.

* * *

"Happy new year, Rin, Yukio!"

Shiro ruffles their hair, earning a groan from Yukio and a laugh from Rin. "Stop that, dad," Yukio lightly pushes his father's hand away and smoothes out his hair. "I'm ten, not five..."

There's some more light hearted teasing that follows in the background as Rin adjusts his checkered scarf, making sure it was presentable— It was a treasured thing to that person, after all— even if it's not the same one.

Once they exit the monastery, Rin takes Yukio's hand and swings it back and forth as they make their way to the shrine for the first shrine visit of the year— It's still December 31st, but in a few hours it will be the new year.

Snow begins to fall as they walk, and Rin looks upwards at the sky with a smile.

 _This probably isn't how you imagined it when you made that wish, right?_ He wonders. _But I think it's fine._

"Look, Yukio, it's snowing!" Rin turns from the sky to beam at his brother, who blinks, then laughs.

"Nii-san, you always get so excited about snow..." Yukio shakes his head.

Rin shoulder-bumps Yukio lightly. "But wouldn't it be fun to build a _huge_ snowfort in the winter?" He asks. "We never get that much snow, not like in Canada or something."

"Canada?" Shiro raises an eyebrow with a laugh.

"I wanna wish for it to snow a whole lot next year!" Rin declares, throwing his hands up, taking Yukio's up with his.

"If you say your wish out loud, it's not gonna come true." Yukio tells him, earning a shocked look from his older brother. Yukio and Shiro laugh.

"Don't laugh!" Rin shouts. "It's gonna come true, I swear!"

They continue to chat lightly as they walk, until they reach the shrine. Rin drops Yukio's hand and races up the steps, passing a few other shrine-goers as he does. When he makes it to the top, he checks the time on his watch.

 _There's still time, the day isn't over yet._

Maybe it's strange to celebrate the birthday of a dead person, but Rin thinks it's important.

"Rin, don't run off ahead!" He hears his dad call behind him, but he ignores it in favor of sneaking off behind the stalls and scrambling up a tall tree.

From atop the branch, he has a beautiful view of their neighborhood. It's the best present he can give them before the day ends.

Rin is not that person, but he holds their memories, and he holds them dearly. It's thanks to them that he knows so much— Everything they know, every lesson they've learned, it's all been passed down to him. All he can do in return is live as best he can.

"Happy birthday," he whispers, and hold his fist out to the view of the neighborhood. "Let's do our best this year too."

"Nii-san!" Rin hears his brother call, and he looks down to see Yukio looking up at him with worry. "Get down from there, it's dangerous!"

"Yukio!" Rin smiles. "You should see this view, it's beautiful!" He says, and pats the spot on the branch next to him. "Come on!"

Yukio's eyes widen, and they dart around a bit before returning to Rin. "I can't do that, Nii-san!"

"Of course you can!" Rin replies. "You're not weak, Yukio! I know that more than anyone, you know? See, just grab onto that branch there, then pull yourself up and grab onto this one! I'll even be here to pull you up!" He points to each branch as he explains.

Yukio hesitates at the base of the tree for several seconds, then sighs and begins to climb. Rin offers Yukio his hand, and is delighted when his brother takes it and allows himself to be pulled up. He knows Yukio hates to accept help, so every moment he does is a small victory for Rin.

 _It's something we definitely need to work on before it spirals into a bigger problem_ , he notes. The person before him knew this too. It's a goal that Rin always keeps in mind— to support his little brother no matter what, to always encourage him.

Yukio settles onto the branch beside him, clinging onto the tree as he looks over the view, eyes wide with awe as he takes it in.

"Pretty..." He whispers.

"Right?!" Rin beams. "And the snow makes it look all sparkly!"

The clock strikes twelve.

"Happy new year, Yukio,"

"Happy new year, Rin,"

No matter what, Rin would do his best to protect the people dear to him.

That's a promise.

* * *

A/N:

Hi welcome to my excuse to rewrite AoEx where nothing bad ever happens Ever.

Ok, well, bad things happen but Rin tries _really_ hard to make sure they don't fhjsdbhfbahdwbh

A self-insert reincarnation story, but not quite. Rin is still Rin, but the memories of the self-insert influence and change the way he thinks, the way he acts, and thus changes the story. The self-insert will not likely play a large role themself, or at least not until far later into the story.

I'm normally the type to write an actual self insert story— not really a reincarnation one but, still one where I'm actually a character, but it didn't feel right for AoEx. I mean, I could still write one on the side but I just want Rin to love and support his brother so BAD THINGS DON'T HAPPEN TO HIM LMAO...

To clarify, his previous life did know of and read Ao no Exorcist (up to ch. 100 at the start of this story), and Rin does know of the story thanks to having their memories. This'll come more into play as the story goes on, with Rin trying desperately to use these memories to his advantage long before the story actually starts, albeit still being a fucking dumbass (lol), but the first chapter is just the start so...

And just to get this out of the way, I do want to make Rin to be really loud about how he loves and supports Yukio but I SWEAR to GOD if one person mistakes said love for romantic love I WILL come to your house and kill you with my own two hands. In This House We Hate Incest And Support Loving Families. I don't want any of that nasty "Rin x Yukio" crap. Stay out of my house -_-... That being said, I'm not sure who, if anyone, I'll be pairing Rin with. For sure though, there will be Shiemi x Izumo. I love those girls and they love each other. They Are Sweet...

Anyway this A/N was longer than intended but I just made this acc and has BANNED me from posting for 12 hours so I had nothing better to do but vomit words into this A/N lmao, but (cr1tikal voice) this is the end of this A/N, remember to like the A/N, comment the A/N, and subscribe if you wanna see more A/N's like this one.

But forreal thanks for reading and please leave a review if you would be so kind (heart emoji)


	2. Chapter 2 (Updated)

A/N:  
Since I was unhappy with chapter 2, I rewrote it. Sorry! Here's the new chapter 2! Beginning is pretty much the same still, though. Updated 6/24/2018

More notes at the end.

* * *

It's not something he understands— those memories of a world where he's nothing but the protagonist of a fictional story. It's strange, and he's not entirely sure if he even believes them, hell, for a long time he thought he was crazy for having memories of a previous life at all.

But it's not like he'll ever get any answers, no matter how much he thinks on it. It's something he's had fifteen years to come to terms with.

He's not sure how much it matters anyways, since the memories of it are practically thirty years old by the time he's fifteen. They're old and fuzzy by now, though he can still recall the overall plot and...

Yukio.

Rin scowls at the thought. In the story... A lot of bad things had happened to his brother, and a gap had formed between the two twins. One that couldn't be fixed so easily. He can't remember if it ever was.

One part Rin remembers disturbingly clear is the image of Yukio putting a gun to his head and pulling the trigger.

Rin's heart breaks at the mere thought. It terrifies him to his core— that they could grow apart on bad terms, that Yukio could—

He shivers, blinking away tears that threaten to form.

If there was so much as a _sliver_ of a chance that those memories were real... He didn't want to chance it. It was far too important. From a very young age Rin had been dedicated to carefully laying down the bricks of trust and support, always reassuring his brother— he never gave up a chance to let Yukio know that he was _amazing,_ skilled, and reliable.

But most importantly—

" _You protect me, and I protect you,_ " He remembers telling him once, after Rin jumped in to protect him from some delinquent of a student a few years back, and Yukio got angry for it, for needing to be protected. " _Not because the other is weak and has to be protected— not because we_ need _to, but because we_ want _to. We're brothers, and we'll always have each other's backs._ "

It was absolutely imperative Yukio understood this. Yukio had always hated to lose, and somehow asking for help was 'losing'.

That's why whenever Yukio does ask for help, Rin is absolutely _elated_. In the past few years, he seemed to be more open to accepting it, and Rin couldn't be happier.

Rin sways back and forth in his seat, scribbling doodles in his sketchbook idly as he waits for his brother to come home from cram school.

Or rather, from his job as an exorcist.

Yukio hasn't told him about it, not yet. It hurts that his little brother would keep something so important from him, but Rin understands _why_ , even if he doesn't agree with it. However, sometimes, it looks like Yukio wants to say something, but he always decides against it in the end. _Is it about demons?_ Rin often wonders. He hopes so. He wants Yukio to be the one to admit it by his own choice.

But for now, he waits. He always waits for Yukio to come home from exorcist stuff, no matter how late it gets. A minor show of support, in Rin's own way.

The door to their bedroom cracks open, and Yukio steps inside, looking exhausted. He drops his bag down by his desk and flops onto his bed.

"Welcome back," Rin greets, earning a tired hum in reply. "You okay? Can I do anything for you?" He offers.

Rin waits patiently for Yukio to tell him _no, Nii-san, I'm fine_ , but instead Yukio rolls onto his back and says; "Could you make me something to eat?"

Rin pauses, processing the request, before he grins from ear to ear. "Sure thing! Anything specific?" He asks, already out of his chair and on his way to the door.

Yukio twitches— a motion that was probably meant to be a shrug, but was aborted halfway through due to exhaustion. "Not really. Something warm."

"No problem!" Rin says, before he practically skips out of their room and down to the kitchen.

It's progress.

* * *

The day started out like any other. There wasn't anything out of the ordinary— only the gut feeling that _something_ was about to start, and it left Rin feeling uneasy the whole day.

If Rin had to make a bet, he'd place money on the plot of whatever manga he's the star of beginning today, but it's not like he really knew what to expect, since the memories were so old. Maybe that's a good thing. He doesn't particularly care for knowing his future, he's the type to live in the moment.

Regardless the day passes slowly without incident, leaving Rin unsettled and on edge as he walks home from the store. He feels like something's gonna jump out at any second, and it's really—

 _THWACK_

Rin jolts, nearly dropping his bag of snacks for him and Yukio. His head swiftly turns to the source of the sound, only to find a group of teenagers laughing wildly with... _Is that a fucking_ crossbow _?!_ Rin's eyes widen, then follow their line of site to a flock of pigeons, struck by the arrows.

Instantly, his blood boils. "Hey!" He shouts, catching their attention. "What the hell do you think you're doing?!"

The kid with the white hair swings his crossbow in his direction and fires without hesitation. Rin doesn't even flinch as it grazes his cheek and embeds itself in the wooden pole behind him.

" _Whaat_? I'm just cleaning up the trash," he says smugly. "These things are everywhere, flocking to garbage like moths to a flame,"

Rin glares. "That's cruel, y'know,"

He laughs mockingly, his friends snickering beside him. "So what? Who gives a crap."

This time, Rin actually does drop his bag. He marches right up to him and snatches the crossbow from the boy's hand with ease, the other no match for his strength. " _I_ care, asshole!" He shouts in his face, taking the crappy wooden crossbow and snapping it in half.

The guy's face changes from shock to fury in seconds. "What the hell, man?!" He shouts back, shoving Rin for emphasis, and his friends turn serious and all begin to crowd around Rin, clearly itching for a fight now.

"If you're gonna do crap like that, then it shouldn't be in your hands!" Rin returns, dropping the remains of the weapon and throwing a fist in the guy's face. He practically goes flying. There's about five seconds of pause before hell breaks loose, and the others start swinging.

Rin jumps back out of their immediate range, before closing back in on another guy and punching him in the gut. He coughs and keels over, groaning in pain, but Rin pays no mind and moves onto the next, catching him in the throat and kicking him away into a wall.

The white haired boy charges him again, slamming his fist into square Rin's face, but it hardly does any real damage aside from making his nose bleed a little, and Rin returns with another solid punch to the face, downward, forcing him to fall to the ground.

" _Fuck_!" One of them cries, a hand over their stomach. "Demon! You're a fucking demon!" He shrieks, stumbling back and grabbing his white haired friend by the arm, practically dragging him away.

Rin glares after them as they run off, wiping his face with one hand, feeling the blood running from his nose. "Haven't heard _that one_ before," he bites under his breath. "But if anyone's the fucking demon it's you assholes..." He scoffs.

He looks down at his hand and sighs at the bruised knuckles and blood across his fingers in disapproval, disappointed in himself even if those cruel bastards deserved it. _I'll definitely get another lecture,_ Rin scowls, swiping his bag of snacks off the ground.

Rin listlessly stumbles his way back to the monastery, head down, but when he soon reaches the gates, he stops, hesitating at the threshold.

Holding up his hand, he stares at the evidence of a fight that still lingers. _I need to get my act together..._ he frowns, finally stepping into the monastery grounds. _I keep getting into fights and going nowhere fast with my life_.

Quietly, Rin slides a window open and slips the bag inside, before he quickly retreats from the building, and steps back outside the monastery, looking for some space to think and clear his head.

Silently berating himself, Rin wanders the evening streets, still early enough to be light, but quickly darkening as the people around him make their ways home. He let his gaze fall back to the ground, slouching as he walked, betraying his foul mood to anyone who passed.

"What the hell am I doing?" He mutters to no one but himself.

* * *

"Rin's late," Shiro mutters, arms crossed from where he sat at the end of the dinner table, fully set up and waiting.

The younger twin fidgets at the table, casting a glance down the hall every now and then. "Knowing Nii-san, he might've gotten into some trouble..." He mumbles, his tone and expression appearing irritated, but Shiro's keen eye can easily spot the underlying worry.

"You don't think he got into another fight, did you?" Izumi asks warily.

Nagatomo sighs. "Unfortunately, that kid happens to be a magnet for trouble..."

And with that, Yukio finally rises. "I'll go look for him." He says, already moving around the table and down the hall.

"Be careful, Yukio," Shiro calls after him. "I'll save some dinner for you two, so hurry and drag your brother home."

Yukio is already at the door now, but he replies over his shoulder as he puts his shoes on. "I'll be quick!" He says, but as he turns back something catches his eye— a small plastic bag from the convenience store sitting by the open window.

Reaching out, he pulls the plastic bag closer, revealing the mineral water he'd asked his brother to get for him, as well as Rin's own iced tea and snacks.

"Nii-san..." Yukio frowns.

 _He came home but..._

His worry deepens— Clearly something was up with his brother. Yukio quickens his leave and sprints out of the monastery, looking left and right before running down the street.

 _If I were him, then I'd definitely go_ there _!_

* * *

 _Creak... Creak..._

The metal chains of the swing squeaked softly as Rin gently swung back and forth, eyes caught on the ground as he loses himself in his thoughts.

 _It's always act first think later that causes me to get into fights all the time,_ Rin scowls at the ground. _I can't keep going like this! When the hell will I get it through my thick skull!?_

Before he can keep yelling at himself, something cold is suddenly pressed against the back of his neck, and Rin leaps away off the swing with a squeal.

"I thought I'd find you here,"

Rin swivels around to find Yukio standing before him, holding his iced tea, breathing slightly uneven from running.

"Yukio?!" He exclaims in surprise, taking the offered iced tea.

Yukio's face takes on a somewhat amused expression as he steps up to stand on top of the swing Rin had just been sitting on, swinging back and forth a little. "It's the first place I thought you'd go if you were moping,"

"I'm not moping!" Rin instinctively denies. "And what're you doing playing on the swings?! Man, people would freak if they saw the oh-so-mature Yukio playing on the playground!"

Yukio _laughs_. "If I recall, it was you, Nii-san, who actually lectured _me_ for once, for not acting my age, and told me to _stop_ acting so mature." he says.

Rin pursed his lip in reply, a stubborn pout— It was _true_ , he did say that. Multiple times, in fact, to varying degrees of success. Foul mood aside, Rin's glad he seems to be relaxing more, at least.

"Trying to change the subject?" Yukio raises an eyebrow, and Rin twitches, clearly caught. Yukio sighs. "I know you, Nii-san. You can't fool me."

With a click of his tongue, Rin slouched in defeat and sat on the swing beside his brother, who dropped to the ground and sat down as well. "So? What happened?" Yukio asks. "You're a mess... Did you get into another fight?"

"I..." Rin hesitated. "Yeah, damnit," he dropped his head, putting his free hand to his face. "Once again I just ran in and got into a fight without thinking— I just... Fuck,"

"If you recognize the problem, that's the first step to fixing it, isn't it?" Yukio says. "Guess who told me that one?"

Rin groans, leaning back on the swing. "Are you just gonna keep throwing my own advice back at me?"

"Only because you're a hypocrite." Yukio replies smugly.

"Aaaugh, shut up!" Rin kicks off the ground and swings. "You're right! Fuck you!" Yukio laughs some more, idly pushing back and forth on the swing himself.

There was a few moments of silence between the two as Rin swung himself back and forth, mind whirring.

"We were worried when you didn't come back, you know." Yukio finally speaks up again.

"Sorry," Rin mumbles, skidding to a halt. "I was mad at myself... 'n I knew you and dad would lecture me about it." He laughs a bit at the end. "Don't have a job! Not goin' to highschool! Always gettin' into fights! The problem child, that's me!" Rin throws his head back as he complains.

Yukio is silent for a moment, letting his brother vent. When Rin doesn't continue, he decides to speak up. "And? What're you gonna do about it?"

"I dunno," Rin shrugs.

Yukio rephrases. "What do you _want_ to do?"

Rin looks away and shrugs again, avoiding eye-contact.

Yukio kicks his brother's swing, sending him sideways with a short yelp. "I think you _do_ know."

"It's nothing!" Rin denies, cheeks flushed from embarrassment, feeling ridiculous now. "It's— It's stupid, I dunno!"

Yukio sighs. "Nii-san, I'm not gonna judge you for something you want to do, you know? Dad wouldn't either."

Rin bites his lip, staying silent. _I feel like I won't get the chance to do what I want anyways, especially if that story is real..._

When Rin doesn't reply, Yukio sighs again. "Alright, for now, let's go home, okay?" He suggests, rising from the swing. "Dinner is probably cold by now, and we need to treat your injuries still..."

At the mention of food, Rin's stomach growls, perfectly on queue. Rin's cheeks turn pink, and Yukio gives him another smug look.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm coming," Rin tries to wave him off casually as he stands up. "Let's go."

Together, they leave the park, walking down the road towards their home.

It's unfortunate, that on their way back to the monastery, chatting lightheartedly, Rin makes eye contact with someone familiar, who smiles slyly and waves. Rin freezes up.

But only for a moment.

"Oh, uh, hang on Yukio I forgot something at the park!" He says quickly. "I'll catch up with you at home, okay?" Rin suddenly turns on his heel and starts jogging in the other direction.

"— Nii-san?" Yukio stutters in surprise, blinking in confusion at his brother's sudden change.

"Tell dad I just ran back to the park real quick, okay?!" Rin shouts over his shoulder as he runs off down the street. A quick glance shows that they are, in fact, following him.

Rin's eyes dart around as he heads back towards the park, catching sight of all the strange black bugs floating about— no, not bugs, _demons_ , he remembers. _Coal-somethings_... Behind him Yukio watches as he swats at one with wide eyes, but Rin is already far along. He quickly jogs off in the direction of the monastery, eager to tell their father.

Meanwhile, Rin makes it back to the park. Turning, he finds himself staring with wide eyes. Surrounded, no, _swarmed_ by the small black demons, is the pigeon killer guy from earlier, along with his buddies. What worries Rin the most, however, are the large curly horns that protrude from his skull, and the tail that idly sways behind.

 _What the hell's with this guy?_ Rin tensed, taking a subconscious step back. _Is he fucking possessed?_

"O-ku-mu-ra- _kuun_ ~!" The horned boy sings. "Glad we managed to catch up to you. See, I was hoping we could have a little chat. Just t'say sorry about earlier, and all that."

"Is that all?" Rin asks warily. "Cause I gotta get home, y'know."

" _Ahh_ , there was _one_ more thing," the boy digs in his back pocket for a moment, pulling out his wallet. "I just wanted to talk to you about something. See, I'll be starting school at True Cross Academy, so I wouldn't want any unsavoury rumors flying around, y'know?" He pulls out a wad of cash, holding it out to Rin.

Rin rolls his eyes. "I don't need your damn hush money, okay?" He shrugs, turning, reading to head out. "I'll keep my mouth shut, or whatever."

The possessed boy laughs loudly, his friends snickering beside him as they move to surround Rin. "C'mon, don't try to act so cool. We both know you need the money." He taunts. "You're so poor you can't even pay for school, right?"

Rin bristles at that as it strikes a chord, and he gives the boy a harsh glare. "What are you, a fucking stalker?" He snaps.

The boy ignores him though, and continues to wave the cash around. "Your brother... Okumura Yukio-kun, right?" He begins tauntingly. "He studied hard to get a scholarship for True Cross, yeah? That's sorta like _debt_ , huh... How sad. Why don't you put this towards his tuition?" He snickers mockingly.

 _SMACK_

Rin had moved before he even realized it, his fist connecting with the boys face once again and sending him flying.

"Say whatever the hell you want about me," Rin begins, voice low. "But don't you _dare_ diss my brother!" He finishes with a shout.

The boy, sprawled out on the ground, starts to chuckle. It grows, until he begins laughing wildly. "That hurt!" He exclaims, before his mood turns sour fast and he stops laughing. "What the hell are you so worked up about!?" He shouts, showing off his sharp fangs. "Grab 'im!" He orders, and his previously quiet friends jolt into action and jump on Rin, shoving him down until he's on the ground, arms pinned and a knee in his back.

Rin shouts in surprise and struggles against them, but even with his strength it's difficult to move in this position, so all he manages to do is wriggle uselessly on the ground. The sight makes the possessed boy laugh at him, which Rin returns with a glare.

"Careful now," he hums lightly, kneeling before Rin. "This guy's a _real_ monster." He tells them with a low, dangerous voice. He grabs Rin by his hair and forces his head upwards. "But he's _scum_ of society, y'know? Not going to high school, no job, no aspirations! Pathetic!" He cackles.

"Piss off!" Rin shouts, trying to tug away from him, but he just gets his head shoved into the ground in response.

"Now, now, don't be so _rude_ , Okumura-kun!" The boy grins. "I can help you out, as a friend of course! I know a _great_ place that's hiring right now..." He trails off, reaching into his pocket and pulling out something small and silver. "I'll even help you cut your hair for the interview!" He cheers, revealing with a flick the small pocket knife.

Rin's heart drops at the sight, but another lackey grabs his hair and pulls his head back again. The other boy on his back seems to shift nervously, however.

Hesitantly, he speaks up. "Hey, Shiratori-san, haven't we done enough? That's going too far..." He says slowly. "Seriously, that's a crime!"

The possessed boy, Shiratori, responds violently by putting a fist in the boy's face, knocking him back onto the ground. "Shut the _hell_ up!" He shouts. The other boy on Rin's back tenses, letting go of Rin's hair in surprise, though the relief doesn't last long when Shiratori crouches by his head and grabs him instead. Rin's heart stutters when he holds the knife up to his head. "Now then, don't get mad if a little skin comes off— I'm new at this, yknow!"

Rin panics, trying to yank his head away to no avail, breaking out into a cold sweat as the knife gets closer. "Stop it! Stop—" He struggles uselessly against his grip.

Shiratori laughs wildly, long tongue hanging out and eyes turning to sharp slits. "Maybe if we're lucky, we'll even get to see some _brains_!"

 _He's serious_ — Rin realizes in a panic as the knife gets closer. _He's seriously gonna kill me!_ His mind screams as his eyes remain trained on the blade. His blood runs cold and he struggles harder, desperate to get out, but Shiratori's grip remains firm.

The knife makes contact with his forehead, drawing a single bead of blood...

Then everything bursts in a bright explosion of _blue_.

* * *

A/N:

HELLO?!

Um I wasn't sure if I wanted to rewrite this chapter, but I read it again and strongly disliked how it followed canon so closely. It's ummm Boring To Read! We already know what happens! This was even mentioned in a review, and I agreed! So I rewrote it. It meets the same end, but the middle part is a little different so it's a little more interesting to read. Aaaand we get to see more Yukio and how he's changed in this universe thanks to Rin's influence.

Rin gives a lot of advice, good advice too, but he seldom follows it himself lol... I think I struggle the same way. I know, logically, what I should do and stuff, but sometimes it's harder to follow than I realize...

Anyway, sorry it's not a _new_ chapter, but I hope you enjoyed it regardless. I kept procrastinating on writing chapter three because not only is it boring to read a fic that follows canon so closely, it's also very boring to write!

I've learned my lesson.. I'll try to spice up things as much as I can, even the bits that have to follow canon! I'll keep doing my best, so please look forward to the next chapter! Thank you!

Feel free to leave a review, I love to hear what you guys think! I thrive off of feedback, so please do. I'd pay you to if I had more than one dollar...


	3. Chapter 3

Rin remembers dying.

It's perhaps the clearest memory from his previous life— the way his chest hurt, _screamed_ in pain, his heart failing him. The way his eyelids drooped without permission. It was similar to how he would struggle to keep his eyes open in classes, mind slipping from reality, except far more painful.

He remembers thinking, some days before it happened; ' _I think I'm going to die soon_.'

He remembers being seventeen and thinking. ' _I might die this year or the next_.'

And amidst the fear and pain of death, he remembers the bitter satisfaction of knowing he was right, and the regret of knowing he did it to himself.

Rin feels none of this when his body bursts into flames. It's warm, _hot_ , but not painful. His mind isn't slipping from him, instead it feels clearer than ever before, as if everything had suddenly just come into sharp, 1080p focus.

And their memories, his memories, they're just a click away, and he _remembers_ so much more. Those old, old memories fill him first with nostalgia then _fear_.

The possessed boy is speaking to him, greeting him as a demon, but Rin isn't even listening, only staring wide eyed at the flickering blue flames that dance on his fingers.

There's chanting in a familiar voice as someone new steps into the park, and when Rin looks up he sees not his own death but the death of his father, burning in the same flames that dance on his skin.

The demon shrieks loudly, pulling Rin from his daze.

" _Damn you_ , exorcist!" He shouts. "I'll rip that _filthy_ mouth right off your face!"

The demon charges at his father, and in a split moment of panic, Rin jolts forward and punches him hard in the jaw, sending him flying off to the side. His father's chant never breaks, and he finishes, signing a cross with a flourish to complete it.

The demon cries in agony as something dark and sinister is expelled from the boy's body, rendering him unconscious.

The flames upon Rin's skin finally flicker and die. He jumps over to the boy and bends down to take a closer look.

"He's— he's fine," Rin breathes. "Knocked the fuck out, but breathing and fine. Bet that'll leave one hell of a headache..." He mumbles the last part, skipping back over to his father.

Shiro puts a hand on Rin's shoulder. "Are you alright?"

Rin almost nods, instinctively ready to assure his well-being. He catches himself with a cough. "I'm fucking _reeling_." He says, almost _dizzy_ from it's truth. "Let's speedrun this information; demons are real, you're a real exorcist, I'm, what, a demon too?" Rin touches his teeth, as if self-conscious, but finding them still flat and human-like. It's only for show, though.

Shiro blinks for a moment, then sighs. "You've always hated pointless talk, huh?" He mutters. "You're a half-demon, Rin. The son of a human woman, fathered to a demon— not just any, either. You are the bastard son of Satan himself."

Wryly, Rin comments; "What is this, some shounen manga?" He laughs— a joke only he would fully understand. "Satan can choke." He adds with an off grin.

Shiro stiffens at Rin's apparent 'could care less' attitude. "Take this _seriously_ , Rin—!"

"I _am_ taking this seriously!" Rin snaps back, cutting him off at the end. His previously relaxed attitude suddenly shatters, morphing into something tense and angry. "You think I'm not serious?! I'm more serious than I've _ever_ been!" He shouts. "This is fucked up! The fact you kept it from me is fucked up! All of this is fucked up! Do you want me screaming and yelling about it?!"

Shiro tenses, and doesn't reply immediately, eyes flickering over Rin's face, before he swats at a few stray _coal tars_ , Rin remembers now, and grabs Rin by the elbow. "Let's head back to the monastery before any more demons come running,"

Rin allows his anger to recede for now, although still tense, and he nods to his father, allowing the man to pull him along as they run home.

The monastery is eerily silent when they enter, Shiro still dragging Rin through the halls. Idly, Rin wonders where his brother went after getting their father, or where the others are, but the thought is quickly brushed aside when Shiro stops in front of a large dresser.

"Listen, Rin, you must leave the monastery immediately," Shiro tells him, swiping up a bag and unzipping it, quickly stuffing it with as many things as he can.

" _Leave?!_ " Rin bristles.

Shiro continues as if he hadn't even heard Rin's exclamation. "This is a kamikakushi key," he says, holding up the fancy golden key, before pushing it into the dresser's lock. "With it, you can hide anything anywhere you want." From the drawer, he pulls out a beautiful blue sword, and holds it out to Rin. "The Koma sword, also known as _Kurikara_. It's a demon sword passed down from old."

Shiro swipes the bag up from the bed and shoves it into Rin's hands, placing the sword atop the bag. "You're flames reside inside this sword, sealed by the scabbard. Should you draw it, you'll assume your demonic nature, and you'll never be able to live as a human again."

Shiro puts the kamikakushi key atop the bag as well. "Don't _ever_ draw it, but never let it leave your possession! Use the kamikakushi key to hide it when necessary." He says, before pulling out a cellphone and adding it to the pile in Rin's arms. "Once you've left the monastery, use this phone. There's only one number saved in it— he's a friend of mine. He can't return your life to normal, but he will shelter you. Now, _go_!"

And as Shiro's voice faded from the room, all that's left was silence. Rin stared at his father, stunned, before he blinked slowly and shook his head. He swung his arms up and let the items in his arms drop and hit the floor.

" _Rin_ , what are you—"

"Are you stupid?!" Rin interrupts. "I awaken to being a demon, have all this information _unloaded_ on me, and then I'm told to _get out_ — just how do you think this looks from my side?! You've known about what I am for all of my fifteen years of existence and all that amounts to _this_ shitty plan?!"

Shiro bends down and picks up the Koma sword. "Rin, I understand how this must look from your side, but believe me we were not prepared for you to awaken so soon—"

"I'm _not_ done!" Rin swipes the sword from his father. "You seriously just wanna throw me out like that?! Like, what the hell?! What about Yukio?!"

Shiro takes in a shivering breath in an attempt to calm his own nerves. "Your brother was born weak, underweight, and thus he was unable to inherit the same blue flames that you did." He explains. "He's completely human."

A surge of anger boils over Rin. "That's not what I'm fucking talking about!" He shouts. "I can't just _leave_ him, he's my _brother_! And— Fuck, he's known this the whole time too, hasn't he?" Rin already knows the answer to that one.

Shiro's eyes widen. "Rin—"

"Did you think I wouldn't notice?" Rin's temper continues to rise— fifteen years worth of issues coming to a head so quickly he barely knows where to start. "Did you think I'd miss the fact that my little brother was forced to grow up way too fast? He's stressed the fuck out, like, _constantly_ , and I can only _barely_ support him from the outside while knowing nothing—" _everything_ , "at all!"

"Rin, Yukio chose to become an exorcist to protect you," Shiro says.

" _Does that make it okay to let a fucking seven year old become an exorcist?!_ " Rin shouts back. "He was just a kid— Fuck, we're _still_ just kids! How badly do you fucking think that shit fucked with Yukio's growth?! God, no _wonder_ we're both so fucked up!"

And instantly, Rin freezes, his heart dropping, shattering at his feet while his blood turns to ice. In front of him, Shiro goes completely still as well, but the next thing Rin knows is the sting of his father's palm slapping his cheek.

This wasn't how it was meant to go. He hadn't meant to get angry— no, _god_ , no, he was just— Fuck, it was all just happening so _fast_ , he wasn't supposed to yell at him.

"Dad—" Rin starts, voice so weak and _afraid_ compared to the anger that had laced it mere moments ago. "I didn't mean— I'm _sorry_ , I'm sorry," the words rush out of his mouth, desperate, before he loses his chance to say them. "Dad, I'm sorry, I know, I know, god, I know this whole this must be _really_ fucking complicated, I just,"

And Shiro, god, his expression is so empty but in his eyes Rin can see the pain. Rin realizes that he's not the only one who had noticed the burdens that Yukio carries— Shiro already blamed himself, and now...

His father takes in a deep, shuddering breath. "There's no time to argue, Rin." He says, cold and distant. "Now, go," he tells Rin, and his voice is simply _dripping_ with hurt, which is entirely Rin's fault.

 _No, no, no, no_ , Rin's heart breaks, the image of his father's dead body surfacing and haunting him. "No, no, dad, please don't—" Rin's voice breaks as tears spill down his cheeks, and he knows he's probably not making sense anymore as he babbles through his tears. "Please don't go, don't— I'm sorry," He cries, grasping the front of his father's clothes. "I didn't mean it, please don't go, please,"

Shiro doesn't reply, _can't_ reply, as he suddenly lurches with a gasp of pain, and Rin can't do a single thing when Shiro shoves him away, falling to the ground with a hand grasping his chest.

"No! _No, no no_!" Rin sobs, jolting towards his father again. _It's my fault, it's my fault— I should've shut my mouth and talked to him later, calmly, shouldn't have said that, I shouldn't have said that, I shouldn't have blamed him, It's my fault, god, I'm so stupid, I knew and I still lost my cool—_

The lightbulb above them suddenly bursts, and the glass falls atop them, but Rin pays it no mind. "Dad, no, I'm sorry, I didn't— Please don't—"

" _Rin_ —" Shiro chokes out. "Get... _Away_ —!"

And then everything stops cold. The room is as silent as a graveyard, which is fairly compared, considering what Rin knows will happen next— and dread creeps up his spine as Shiro slowly raises his head to look at Rin.

Jagged irises made of a bright blue with cruel red pupils stare back at him. It sends a shiver down Rin's spine, and a wild grin splits Shiro's face. Abruptly, Rin ceases his crying, a horrified expression washing over his face instead.

"My.. _dear_ son," Shiro's voice says, distorted, forced, as if Shiro was still fighting the possession— He probably was. "How I waited for this moment,"

And then, without warning, Shiro bursts into flames— _blue_ flames, just like the ones that had coated Rin's body not too long ago. Shiro— no, _Satan_ sits up and beings to cackle wildly. "— _Sometimes_ I crack myself up!" He crows, rising to his feet and peering down at Rin. "Hiya, _junior_ ~! I came _all_ this way to greet you, my _darling boy_! Aren't you the least bit grateful?"

Rin, who had subconsciously backed into the wall, shivers. " _Satan_ ," he whispers, horrified.

" _Ding dong~_ " Satan sings. "That's _correct_! God of demons and your _true father_ — But you can call me ' _Papa_ ' if you want!" He jeers, before throwing his head back and laughing some more as blood begins to spill down Shiro's face, from his eyes, his nose, and the corners of his mouth. It coats the sharp fangs that Satan smiles with, and it only makes the image that much more terrifying.

Satan stops laughing with a sigh and looks down at his hand, Shiro's hand. "As much as I'd _love_ to prolong this emotional reunion, it seems even this guy's body won't hold me much longer." He says, grasping three of Shiro's fingers with his other hand, and then with a sickening _snap_ and a spray of blood, Rin watches with horror as Satan rips Shiro's fingers right off.

The blood pours from Shiro's fingers, splattering against the floor as Satan whispers something in a language Rin can't understand, and then the blood begins to move, drawing out a square in a deep red, almost black. It begins to... almost _bubble_ , as it forms something, faces of agony in red that make up the door to hell.

"I'm the only demon who can make this," Satan boasts. " _Gehenna Gate_. Now, let's go home, my son," He swivels to Rin with a bloody smile, before his eyes lock onto the sword that Rin still holds a death grip on. " _Ahh_ , that's right, we should destroy that damnable thing, and return you to your _true_ demonic state!"

Satan reaches out for the sword, grabbing it by the scabbard. He yanks on it, but Rin only tightens his grip.

 **Don't** _ **ever**_ **stop fighting.**

The thought is so sudden it makes Rin jolt, and he kicks upwards, his foot connecting with Satan's— Shiro's elbow, forcing it to bend awkwardly, and thanks to that he lets go of the sword. Rin jumps to his feet and _shoves_ , pushing Satan away.

"Get the _hell_ out!" He demands, blue flames bursting forth with the exclamation.

Satan stumbles back and stares, shocked, before he begins to laugh at Rin. "What was that?! Did you piss your pants or something?!"

"Give it back," Rin whispers, gripping his sword so hard his knuckles turn white. " _Give it back!_ " He shouts, launching himself at Satan, who easily side-steps him. "That body is my _father's_ , so _give it back!_ "

 _Give it back, give it back_ now _, before it's too late—_

Satan laughs loudly, a sound that sends waves of fear over Rin, shaking him to his core. "Haven't you been listening?! Daddy dearest is _right here!_ " He exclaims. "This wretched priest may have raised you, but the blood of the God of Gehenna runs through your veins!"

"Blood means _nothing_ to me!" Rin shouts back. "My family is who I decide they are, and my father is _Fujimoto Shiro_!" He declares, but hesitates to attack Satan again. After all, he doesn't want to hurt _Shiro_.

Satan grabs him by the arm with overwhelming strength and _throws_ him into the gate as if he were nothing. "How _ridiculous_." He shakes his head. "Regardless, I need _you_ to lay claim to Assiah,"

The gate grabs him, pulls him, and Rin can barely tear his arms loose, losing his grip of the Koma sword. "Let me go! _Let me go!_ " He shouts angrily as he fights against the gate.

Satan cackles maniacally. "The cry of a newborn, for today you shall be reborn!" He exclaims. "Happy birthday~! Welcome to Gehenna~!" He sings.

And then, suddenly, he chokes on blood. With wide eyes, Satan crumples to the ground, a hand to his chest. He leans back, revealing the sharp exorcist pin sticking out of his chest, coated in blood. "Wh— _Why you_ — Damned _exorcist!_ " He shouts, flames roaring angrily.

He jolts forward a little, his eyes returning to their original shape and color, full of pain. "Rin is my _son_ ," he says, _Shiro_ says. "And I'm taking him back!"

Shiro's eyes sharpen and turn blue once again. " _Suicide_? Some priest _you_ are," he mocks, his voice wavering as he wobbles. "But the gate already has him in it's grasp... and it won't... Let go..."

The fire goes out like a candle with a hiss, and Shiro falls forwards, but Rin dives and catches him before he falls completely into the gate.

"No! Damnit! I didn't— Fuck!" Rin stumbles back and forth over his words, tears quickly spilling over his cheeks once again.

" _Rin_ ," Shiro whispers, his voice quiet and weak.

"Dad?!" Rin's eyes snap to his father. "Can you hear me? Hang on, _please_ hang on, you're gonna be fine!" He says, struggling to rise out of the gate. But it's no use— the grip it has on the two of them is strong, and his father is too heavy for him to carry.

"Rin," His father wheezes. "You've always been... such a cry baby..." He says, choking on his own blood. A weak, bloodied hand, missing three fingers, reaches up to Rin's and attempt to brush away the thick tears streaming down his face, however it does nothing but smear blood on his cheek. "C'mon, k-kid... You gotta... f-fix those.. those leaky eyes of yours..." His voice trails off.

"Damnit!" Rin cries, reaching for his sword. "Hold on, dad— _Please_ just hold on! Don't you die on me!" His hand clamps around the handle, and he _pulls_.

Instantly, Rin lights up in blue flames, flickering wild with panic and fear, and once again Rin's mind is sharper than ever, and he feels _whole_. He brings the sword up high and swings it down with everything he has and—

The gate bursts, and the next thing he realizes is that he's sitting upon a scorched and bloody floor.

Fujimoto Shiro's dead body stares back at him.

* * *

A/N:

Me: hm, with Rin knowing what's going to happen, how am I gonna still end up with Shiro dying?  
My evil hands: "we're fucked up and it's your fault"  
Me: yowza!

Anyway. I'm very sorry for the wait, I struggled a lot with this one. This one... It was important this part end the same way, so I'm sorry if this chapter was boring, and I'm also sorry if you thought Shiro was gonna live in this fic... I'm so sorry... As much as I want him to, it's better plot-wise that he doesn't. Also, better for me because I struggle with writing him -_-...

"But Kopitou! If Rin knows what was gonna happen, why did he still yell at Shiro?! Why did it still end up like this?!"

Because sometimes, no matter what you know logically, you still get caught up in emotions and mess things up. Yukio is Rin's most important person so he's obviously upset about how this situation negatively affected him, and he himself is very hurt by how Shiro handled their situation. He's desperately been trying to do damage control from the outside all his life. Yukio's been under a lot of stress because of all of this, but so has Rin. Trying to be the family therapist all the time is extremely stressful— even if it's something Rin _wants_ to do because he loves his family. He's always been upset with the situation, but he couldn't be open about it— that's _such_ a huge can of worms that he wasn't prepared to open, but now that the secret was out, he could finally voice all of his complaints. It just happened that it all burst like a volcano instead of a peaceful discussion, since the situation was so stressful...

Anyway! Does it ever fuck you up that Rin and Yukio are only fifteen at the start of AoEx? Yukio was _seven_ when he started exorcist training. That's so fucked up! Idk how old you guys are but I'm eighteen and I'm like. These are kids! What the fuck! This shouldn't be happening to them! What the fuck!

It's 2am as I'm writing this so I have no idea if any of this makes any sense -_- unrelated but did you know I hate using bold text in my fics? I try to avoid it when I can, but sometimes I need it. I just feel like it sticks out far too much, it's very jarring.

Anywhosies thanks for reading Please Leave A Review I Will Kill For Feedback.


	4. Chapter 4

It's raining.

Rin has always loved the rain. Maybe another leftover trait passed down from his previous life, sure, but he loves it all the same.

But right now, he can't help but scowl bitterly at the sky as raindrops pelt him, drenching his clothes. It's a petty scowl, as if the clouds were somehow at fault for everything.

But that's wrong, because it's all been Rin's fault.

The past few days, he's thought it over countless times, what he could've done, what he should've done, but nothing ever works out right even in these hypothesized scenarios and it's always his fault.

Mindlessly, he dials the only number in the phone Shiro gave him.

The memories that were fuzzy with age before are starting to come back to him, the more he sees the more he remembers, and he remembers it so very clearly.

Mephisto Pheles, Samael, demon king of time, stands beside him, along with a crowd of exorcists.

Rin makes his declaration— it's not like he has a choice anyways.

He'll become an exorcist and defeat Satan himself.

* * *

He finds Yukio in their room, packing. Rin can't even imagine what Yukio must be feeling, but if there's one thing he does know is that secrets never did anyone any good. It's too late to keep waiting for Yukio to open up, so... Now Rin has to be the one to start.

 _Then why won't my legs move?_ He thinks in frustration as he hesitates, hovering at the door.

Luckily, Yukio notices him standing there. He offers a sad smile, and waves for Rin to come in.

Rin's feet move without him telling them to, and he soon finds himself standing before his brother, who sits on his bed.

"What is it, Nii-san?" Yukio asks, and _god_ , he sounds so _tired_. It almost brings Rin to tears again, but he swallows them back and takes in a deep breath.

"You..." Rin squeezes his eyes shut. "You deserve to know what happened. The whole truth."

Yukio stills, and his smile drops. "What are you... talking about, nii-san?"

Rin swallows. "About... About what happened to dad."

Yukio... doesn't react, not outwardly.

"They said that dad—"

"It was Satan." Rin interrupts before another lie could fall from his brother's lips. "We are the half-demon sons of Satan himself, and that night I awoke to my demon powers." He confesses slowly. "But, you... You knew that already, didn't you?"

This time, Yukio flinches, as if Rin had actually hit him. There's a long stretch of silence between them, and Yukio opens and closes his mouth several times before he actually speaks again.

"I wanted to tell you." He whispers, as if something were going to break if he spoke any louder.

Rin shrugs. "It's a tough subject." He says. "I don't blame you."

Yukio winces, leaning over and drawing a hand to massage his forehead. "I..."

"You don't have to say anything, just..." Rin shifts on his feet, before flopping onto the bed beside his brother. "I just, figured I should... I dunno, start?" He shrugs again. "I don't want there to be anymore secrets between us."

Yukio takes in a deep, shuddering breath. He looks up at Rin with glassy eyes. "Honestly? Me neither."

It brings a small smile to Rin's face, although it quickly fades, and he looks forward instead, clearing his throat.

"It... It was my fault that dad got possessed." Rin confesses, and Yukio tenses beside him. "I— I was so angry that I'd been lied to, that you had gotten roped up in it so _young_ , and— I, Yukio that made me _so_ angry."

"Nii-san?"

"You started exorcist training when you were, what, seven?" Rin looks at him, and he nods slowly. "I... I noticed something changed around then. I knew it was stressing you out, and I didn't know how to help. I felt... so _useless_ as I watched my little brother grow up way too fast, watched you hold so many burdens and... It felt so _unfair_ that I could continue life so carefreely while you were so stressed. Which, I guess, stressed _me_ out," he laughs weakly.

"You— Nii-san, you were _never_ useless," Yukio says quickly, before he hesitates again. "I... I honestly, I honestly felt the same. At some point I was so frustrated that I had to do all of this while you were living normally but— but that wasn't true. You were always paying attention, you were always there, supporting me. Waiting for me. I knew... I _knew_ that you noticed. And how could I be mad at you when you were doing everything to help me? Well... some petty part of me still was, but,"

Rin lets out an amused huff, shoulder-bumping his twin lightly. "And that's valid."

"There it is— Your catchphrase finally makes an appearance," Yukio teases gently.

"It's not my catchphrase,"

Yukio shoots him a small grin. "It is."

"It's not—" Rin scoffs. "But if it was? It's _valid_."

It draws a chuckle from his brother, which makes him happy, but the smile on his lips soon drops.

"You shouldn't have had to do that," Rin whispers. "Any of that. You were just a kid. We still are."

"I... Nii-san, I've been seeing demons all my life, and... Dad said I could protect you." Yukio says. "I didn't want to be weak anymore."

"Yukio," Rin's brows furrow. "You were the only one who ever thought you were weak."

Yukio blinks at him. "What?"

"I've said it before; I rely on you." Rin says. "Because I know that I can. That you're reliable. That you're strong. I never once thought you were weak. And... I understand why dad offered to let you; you were understandably scared, and it gave you a way to protect yourself, like, a sense of security, or something. But, like... Surely there were other ways to do that, right?" Rin shakes his head. "I understand _why_ , I just... I still think it was wrong. He should've— he shouldn't have let you start so _young_. You should've grown up properly."

Yukio is silent as he lets those words stew in his mind. Instinctively, he wants to deny them, say that he made his choice—

"Maybe," he finally says.

"That's— that's what made me so angry." Rin stutters, his voice wavering for a moment. "I... God, it's fucked up! And I... I was so mad, I just... I shouted all of that at him! I was— I blamed all of our problems on him, god, I was so fucking _awful_!" Rin hunches over, palms of his hands pressed to his eyes as they threaten to become watery again. "I didn't— I didn't mean to, but I _did_ , I— and, and it was _my fault_ that he got possessed!"

"Oh, god, Rin," he hears Yukio whisper beside him, horrified.

It makes him choke, and the tears begin to form. "It— it was my fault, I tried, I _tried_ to take it back but I, like always I get _so angry_ and I just, I just mess everything up!"

He feels a weight around his shoulders— Yukio has taken him into his arms, whispering soft _shushes_ and rubbing his back.

"I..." Yukio begins hesitantly. "God, I want to blame you, Rin. I want to blame you, but I can't."

"You _can._ " Rin protests weakly. "Because it was my fault."

"Maybe it was," Yukio says. "But... I forgive you. I forgive you because _god_ knows you didn't want this to happen. If you— if you regret it so much, don't _ever_ let it happen again."

Rin takes in a quivering breath and pulls himself from Yukio's arms, rising to stand in front of him. "I don't—" Rin let's out a wet, bitter laugh. "I don't want that. Ever again."

There's a brief pause, where Rin tries to wipe away a few stray tears. Yukio... Yukio has been holding them back this whole time, Rin realizes, seeing his brother's eyes red around the edges, yet his cheeks still dry.

That's no good, either.

"Dad told me to— to stop being such a crybaby, y'know? But how the hell am I supposed to do that now?" He asks, then shakes his head. "I don't... I don't think crying is a bad thing. I'm not saying we should be wallowing uselessly in despair or whatever, I just—" Rin chokes up. " _Fuck_ , Yukio, we're just _kids_! We're allowed to fucking grieve!" He cries, tears spilling down his cheeks.

Yukio stares at him, gaping, before his eyes quickly become watery and his face scrunches up. He hunches over, shoulders shaking, as a few tears finally escape.

"How—" Yukio takes a shuddering breath. "What— what was he like?"

Rin swallows, closing his eyes for a moment. He lets out a somber laugh. "He was cool, damnit," he admits. "He protected me until the end." Rin tells him, his voice breaking.

And just like that, dam breaks, and Yukio begins to sob. Rin sits back down beside him, and they both gravitate into a hug, crying into each other's arms. They stay like that for a while, crying out all their pain, until they run out of tears to cry.

Yukio pulls back first, eyes red and glasses askew.

"I have a headache," he says, his voice hoarse from crying.

Rin laughs dryly in reply, but his brother's words roll in his mind. _Maybe it was your fault,_ he said, _but I forgive you_.

* * *

"Good morning, Sir Pheles," The voice of Yukio calls out, and Mephisto raises an eyebrow at the greeting, _Sir Pheles instead of Faust? Is his brother not around?_ But he turns around to greet the boy and finds that, no, Rin is right there next to him. Not only that...

A surprised guffaw escapes the demon's mouth when he spots the boy.

"My! Okumura-kun, whatever happened to your hair?" Mephisto asks, eyes wide.

Because the boy in question stands before him, looking like he hardly slept a wink, with bright aqua blue hair atop his head, messy, and sticking up in various directions.

Rin shrugs. "Didn't really get a chance to brush it," he says, and oh he _knows_ that's not what Mephisto meant.

A grin slides onto Mephisto's lips. "What an interesting color choice,"

"Um, it's like... _symbolic_ , or whatever," Rin reaches up and attempts to comb through his messy blue hair. Yukio rolls his eyes beside him.

"It surprised me as well," Yukio says. "He was awake before I was, and his hair was..." He gives a little shake of his head and sighs.

"Might I take this as we are all on the same page here then?" Mephisto asks, intrigued. He hadn't expected Rin to confess.

Rin raises an eyebrow. "Were you expecting me to _not_ tell my little brother?" He asks, as if reading Mephisto's mind, then he gasps and puts a hand on his chest, as if scandalized. "For shame!"

Yukio makes a little sound that Mephisto is pretty sure is a laugh, but he hides it by coughing into his sleeve. "Yes, Rin told me what happened, so I explained everything." He clears his throat. "In any case, shall we get going? We don't want to be late for the entrance ceremony."

"Of course, of course," Mephisto nods, and with a snap of his fingers, a classy pink limousine rolls up beside them. "Shall we away?"

Rin makes a noise of awe. " _Cool_!" He grins, bouncing up to the car. He slides inside first, gawking at the extravagant interior.

Yukio, amused, enters after his brother and sits beside him. "Nii-san, you're way too excited,"

"No way! You're not excited _enough_!" Rin counters, as Mephisto slides in and the car begins to move. "Doesn't this make you feel fancy? It's like we're VIP! We're _high society_ now," he grins.

"I hope you don't mind, Okumura-kun," Mephisto interrupts, leaning forward in interest. "I've placed you in the same class as your brother— I took a look at your grades and I am quite surprised! I hadn't pegged you for a genius,"

"I'm not a genius," Rin says, while Yukio says, "He's not a genius," at the same time.

Yukio continues. "He worked hard to get those grades."

"Well, I wouldn't have lasted a day if it weren't for Yukio helping me out," Rin shrugs. He distinctly remembers falling horribly behind in all of his classes in his last life— he was very determined not to let it happen again. Yukio gives him a proud look from the corner of his eye.

Mephisto's eyes drag between the two of them. "Well, I can't say I expected such grades from you regardless. You don't seem like the studious type."

"He's not," Yukio cuts in. "He hardly _studies._ I'm pretty sure he can just absorb information via sleeping on his books."

Rin snorts, a loud laugh escaping his lips. "It's like photosynthesis, except... with knowledge."

"Yeah, that sounds about right."

"But, yeah, if it wasn't for Yukio _literally_ taping me to the chair and forcing me to do my work, I seriously doubt my grades would be as good as they are." Rin says with a shrug. A fond smile worms it's way on his lips.

He was serious when he said Yukio taped him to the chair— around their first year in middle school. He can still remember the look on Shiro's face when he walked in, eyes gone completely bug-eyed as he let out a loud bark of laughter, and Yukio's playfully smug grin.

"You told me to super glue you to the chair if I must." Yukio defends.

He _did_ say that. Rin snorts.

"Ah, look," Mephisto turns his head out the window. "We can see the academy."

Rin and Yukio both look out the window, and Rin's eyes go wide. He remembers very vaguely how large and intricate True Cross was, and sure, he could always see it in the distance, but it's _nothing_ compared to seeing it up close in person. "Holy shit,"

The limousine soon pulls to a stop, and when Rin makes to exit after Yukio, Mephisto grabs him by the sword swung over his shoulder and yanks him back, a startled noise escaping his lips.

"Oh, almost forgot!" Mephisto says innocently, handing him a folded uniform. "You have to change into your school uniform, Okumura-kun! You can change in here."

Rin slides back into the limousine and shuts the door, shooting a quick glare to the other demon, but he takes the uniform and begins removing his jacket.

"I'll come see you after the entrance ceremony, we'll talk then." Mephisto tells him, before he turns to look out the window as Rin changes. "My... What pretty cherry blossoms," he observes idly.

Rin changes quickly, and all that's left is the tie. _I'll have to ask Yukio_ , he thinks, swinging his back over his shoulder again. Mephisto turns back to face him once he's done.

"You sure are full of surprises, Okumura-kun," He comments with a smirk. "I wonder how else you'll challenge my expectations?"

"Don't expect anything. Just don't have any expectations. Don't even think of me. Forget you even met me." Rin jokes dryly as he steps out of the car.

"No," Mephisto says after the door shuts. "I really don't think I will."

Okumura Rin truly was interesting.

* * *

A/N:

Wwwwwwwwwwas anyone expecting this? That Rin would confront Yukio and tell him about what happened? That he'd dye his hair blue? That Rin actually does well enough in school to be in the advanced course with his brother?

I always like writing the little traits that he inherited from his previous life, like his sense of humor, being more of a crybaby than his canon counterpart, or his sense of fashion, etc. It's interesting, I think. Aaand... I kinda wanted something to clearly differentiate him from his canon counterpart ssooo... blue hair! I think it's fun :)

 _Also_ I'm gonna die I keep forgetting to tell yall but I've making stuff for this fic. Like I made a little amv type thing like around ch2 and I was gonna mention it in the A/N but I keep forgetting dFHSAhjbfdbsd

Said amv can be found /watch?v=ITnVCvaliQw its _specifically_ for this fic but like it's vague enough it could be for AoEx in general but yeah lmao. I draw some stuff for this fic sometimes too! All art related to this fic can be found at pitoumugis .tumblr dot com slash tagged/aoex-rebirth (fanfiction dot net REALLY makes it hard to share links to art...) thx for watching remember to like comment and subscribe I made this joke in chapter one already but forreal thanks for reading! Please leave a review if you'd like!


	5. Chapter 5

A/N:

this doc has been in my drive for like weeks with nothing but "I should really write this chapter" written in it. I'm so FUCKING sorry lmao.

A little (read: extremely) late, but I'd like to give a special shoutout to WhiteWing, who left me a review saying "update already!" which is actually really annoying for an author to get as I write this story for no one but myself and I'm not obligated to update it for you since it's not like I'm being paid here (this is a psa disguised as a shoutout), but followed it up with another review like three seconds later saying "Nevermind. You wrote this story rather recently. Update as soon as possible." and added 'Guilty' to their name, because that was really funny and I laughed for like a solid four minutes. Thanks buddy. I hope you're doing well. This one's to you. Cheers.

And so, without further ado (breaks knuckles) let's do this.

More notes at the end.

* * *

"Nii-san, you should really learn how to tie a tie by yourself," Yukio lectures as he carefully goes through the steps of tying his brother's tie. "I can't always do it for you."

"Ties are a pain in the ass," Rin mumbles, watching closely as Yukio finishes tying his tie, trying to memorize the movement. "I can tie ribbons, though."

"I know you can." Yukio says as he turns to walk down the path towards the school building, Rin quick to follow. "So you should be able to learn how to tie a tie, right? Also, button your jacket."

"Um, no, I need to retain my look of casual rebellion."

"You look like a delinquent." Yukio tells him.

"Yeah, it's my aesthetic." Rin replies, running a hand through his blue hair, making it messier than it already is.

Yukio shakes his head. "If you say so."

For a few minutes, the walk is silent as they get closer to the building, Rin hopping over cracks in the sidewalk, idly humming a song that doesn't exist yet as he does. Beside him, Yukio is fidgeting, fiddling with the hem of his sleeves, brushing away dirt that isn't there, straightening out his already straight tie.

"Are you nervous?" Rin asks.

"A little bit, since— ah," Yukio cuts himself off and shakes his head. "Nevermind, I want it to be a surprise."

Rin pouts. "I thought we said no more secrets." He says, and pretends his tongue doesn't burn with secrets untold as he does. _That's different_ , he tells himself.

 _Hypocrite_ , a voice that sounds suspiciously like his brother's echoes in reply.

Yukio chuckles, unaware of Rin's inner turmoil of the week. "A surprise isn't a _secret_. You'll know... _later_ ," he says smugly in that 'I'm-a-little-bastard' tone of voice.

So Rin kicks at Yukio's shin and calls him out on it. "Bastard," he glares, albeit while grinning.

Yukio laughs, and Rin tries not to feel so guilty.

(It doesn't work very well.)

The entrance ceremony comes and goes— Rin is hardly surprised to hear Yukio ranked first in the entrance exam and thus is the first year student representative, though that doesn't mean he's any less proud.

But it leaves a bittersweet taste somehow, and the crowd of students surrounding him only makes it worse, almost suffocating him and pulling his mood down further.

Yukio, ever attentive to his brother, doesn't miss the change in Rin's mood either. "What's the matter, nii-san?" Yukio asks once they're outside after the ceremony.

Rin shrugs listlessly, attempting something casual. "I'm fine." He assures without thinking.

Yukio's expression quickly falls to a scowl, and Rin winces. Anyone with a brain could have seen how shitty that lie was.

"Sorry, um... Habit?" Rin tries, then shakes his head. "Ugh, I'm just. Feelin' kinda depressed now. No real reason. Just. _Ugh_." He confesses and wow talking about feelings sure does suck. "I'm gonna go... wander off. Somewhere quiet. That clown wanted to talk to me after the entrance ceremony anyway."

Yukio grabs Rin by the arm to stop him from walking off. "Wait, nii-san, are you— Uh," he hesitates, thinking his word over. "Are you okay to be alone right now?"

"Yeah, it's nothing, like, serious, I just..." Rin shrugs. "Can't stand to be in this crowd right now. It's suffocating."

As his brother contemplates over saying something else, a group of girls sneak up on him, giggling to each other before tapping on his shoulder. "Okumura-kun!" They sing, and Yukio shivers, gaining a look on his face like he's eaten something rotten and is trying to pretend it's delicious.

Of course, ever the excellent actor, he plasters a polite smile onto his face and turns to the group of girls. "Ah, yes?"

While he's distracted, Rin takes the opportunity to slip away from the crowd.

Yukio doesn't miss him as he leaves, but makes no effort to stop him. He does, however, slide his phone out of his pocket, and shoots Rin a text on his new phone.

 _I'm here if you need me_.

He'll give Rin space if he needs it, but he'll always be there for him. Just like Rin was there for him.

Yukio gives the girls talking to him a quick excuse and makes his own escape from the crowd.

* * *

Mephisto finds Rin wandering far from the rest of the students, a pensive expression on his face showing him to be deep in thought as he makes his way down the path.

"You have cherry blossom petals in your hair, young Okumura-kun," Mephisto points out as he appears from around the pole of a lamp.

Rin doesn't startle like he'd expect, instead he shrugs and gives him a look. "Maybe I put them there. You don't know." He shoots back, but still raises a hand to brush through his hair.

Mephisto chuckles. "Oh, of course, my apologies." He bows dramatically with the sarcasm.

"So?" Rin prompts with a tilt of his head. "How do I become an exorcist? Yukio mentioned a cram school or something,"

With a flourish of his cape, Mephisto stands up right once again. "That's correct!" He claps. "You'll begin studying exorcism as a Page at the exorcist cram school! Regular classes begin in two days, however cram school starts today. I'll guide you there myself." He elaborates, before swinging his hand to point at Rin, who actually flinches a little from the sudden motion. "However! A word of caution— It's a _secret_ that you are Satan's illegitimate child. While your ears, teeth, and tail can be covered... That flame of yours is no joke, so please, do try to control yourself."

Rin blinks, staring at the finger in his face before brushing his hand away. "I know that already." He says. "I think that should go without saying."

"Of course," Mephisto smiles, all sickly sweet and laced with _smugness_. "That's what I like to hear. Nonetheless, I'm a little worried, so I'll be sitting in on your class today." He says, then proceeds to twirl around and face away from Rin. " _Eins, zwei, drei_!" He calls out and with a snap of his fingers and puff of colorful smoke, Rin finds himself looking down at a fluffy white dog with a pretty pink bow tied around its neck.

Rin blinks.

Sure, he knew it was coming, but it's definitely a little disorientating to witness in real life.

With a sigh, he pinches the bridge of his nose and attempts to ground himself in reality again. "Jesus Christ," he mumbles under his breath, before he shakes his head and looks to Mephisto, who has a rather amused expression upon his face for a dog. "Yeah. Okay. This might as well happen. Lead the way."

"Of course, but first," Mephisto trots up to him— It's stupidly cute, considering just who he is, and it's mildly irritating— and Rin crouches down to meet him. A small golden key materializes seemingly out of nowhere, and Mephisto drops it into Rin's hand. "This is the key to the cram school. With it, you can enter the cram school through _any_ door— Convenient, isn't it?"

Mephisto scampers (yes, he _scampers_ , it's very cute) off to the nearest door, Rin trailing behind. "Go ahead and try it," he encourages.

So of course, Rin slides the key into the door's lock without question. With a quiet _click_ , it unlocks and he steps inside, followed by Mephisto.

He finds himself looking up in awe at the tall hallway, eyes drifting over the intricate and colorful designs on the walls and doors. Rin quickly realizes that the design on the walls is the exact same as the design on the doors, complete with a fake handle. It's a door on a door. It both irritates and amuses him the same way a pun would, and he can't decide whether to glare at the dumb design or laugh.

At the very least, it improved his mood by a little bit.

Completely ignoring Rin, lost in thought, Mephisto trots on ahead. "First year lessons are held in room 1106," he explains, leading Rin down the hall.

"Here we are," Mephisto stops in front of one door— 1106, as it says on the wall beside it.

Rin takes a moment to collect himself. As he recalls, there were only a few kids in the class. A trio of boys who were close friends (childhood friends?), a pair of girls who stuck together (also childhood friends maybe?), two who were loners and stuck to themselves (and also were not actually students?), and... another girl, who would be his own friend.

With determination set in his shoulders, he holds his head high and enters the classroom. He's rather surprised when he does— to put it simply, the room was a fucking _mess_.

 _Yikes_. He thinks, scanning over the room that appears to be falling apart at the seams, with grungy-looking walls and half-torn posters, not to mention the immediate dusty smell that hit him the second he stepped in.

He glances over the students next, all staring back at him with varying degrees of interest, but...

That girl was missing.

Confused, Rin stares at the front seat where he's pretty sure she's supposed to sit, until it hits him. _She's not even in the cram school yet,_ he realizes dumbly. _She doesn't enter until..._

He doesn't finish the thought when he realizes he's simply been standing at the door, staring off into space. Sheepishly, Rin makes his way to his usual spot in the far back of the room (door-side, as opposed to furthest from the door which is where he would normally sit, but sitting furthest from the door would put him directly behind the bald kid, and that would be a little awkward since they don't know each other and there's plenty of other open seats and also—), ignoring the stares from the other students.

(And, yes, he's definitely overthinking the seating thing.)

Rin slides into his seat and looks up again as Mephisto hops into his lap. Instantly, he makes eye contact with a boy with pink hair a perfect match to his blue. He feels both instinctive hatred and a sense of kinship with this boy. ( _Sh... Shimura? Something like that._ )

Anyways.

The door to the classroom opens not long after Rin sits down, and Mephisto perks up in his lap. "Your teacher is here," he whispers.

And, of course, in strolls his baby brother, decked out in his full exorcist uniform, shoulders back and head high with confidence. "Quiet down everyone," he commands, and the quiet chattering stops as they all turn to him.

Yukio takes his place at the front of the classroom. "Class will begin now," he says, placing a briefcase upon the desk. "It's nice to meet you, I'm Okumura Yukio. I'll be your Anti-Demon Pharmaceuticals instructor." He introduces himself with a smile.

Yukio glances over to Rin in the back of the room, watching as he stares at him blankly for a moment, before he appears to go through a series of different emotions and his eyes go wide and he makes some kind of halted motion with his hands. Rin's expression settles on a strange combination of pained, exasperated, and proud, and it's highly amusing.

"Although I am the same age as all of you, I finished all of my courses two years ago, so please address me as your teacher." Yukio turns his attention back to the rest of his students and smiles. "To begin with, is there anyone who has yet to receive a _Mashou_?"

A few of the students raise their hands. The plain looking girl sitting next to the girl with the short eyebrows (henceforth known as Eyebrows), the cool looking guy with all the piercings, and the person in the hoodie who Rin is pretty sure is lying and also not a real student.

"Three of you?" Yukio says. "Well, our first lesson will cover the _Mashou_ ritual." He begins, opening his briefcase and taking out a vial of blood, a carton of milk, and a cup, placing them all on the table. "Normally, this classroom isn't in use. It's a nest for demons called goblins," Yukio explains.

The plain girl tenses. "Is— Is it safe?" She asks.

"Yes, goblins don't usually appear in bright places where people gather." Yukio affirms. "They're a low-level demon with only enough power for cheap pranks, so they're easy to handle... But when they smell fermented animal blood, they grow violent." He explains, holding up the vial of blood. He puts his other hand on the carton of milk. "Goblins love milk, so I'll use one drop of a mixture of one part blood to nine parts milk to draw out a few goblins for our ritual. Please wait while I prepare the mixture."

Rin snorts. Somehow, the idea of goblins liking milk is rather funny to him.

But he brushes the thought aside, and watches carefully as his brother goes about the _Mashou_ ritual, listening eagerly as Yukio explains each step.

He has a lot to learn, after all.

* * *

A/N:

So like wow this was... a LONG wait. Sorry about that lol. And the chapter isn't much but it was a struggle to write anything at all...

I know it follows pretty closely (I'm so sorry) but there's really not much to change here... I tried to keep it as interesting as I could with some humor and stuff, but I don't know;; I'll look back on it another time to see if there's anything I can change up. The biggest change is the confrontation just. Not happening lmao. Tbh I really wanted to include details on the Mashou ritual, but I just couldn't figure out a way to do it. I honestly might come back to that though...

Also did you fucking know the cram school walls are just the fucking doors? I hate it. I noticed it when I was skimming the manga and I was like "Hm, the walls are really interesting what are they oh are you fucking kidding me."

Uhh I think that's all I have to say today. Ok bye bye thanks for reading sorry for the long wait and for a chapter where not much happens other than rin is kinda guilty and depressed and also goes to cram school for the first time and dissociates in the doorway for like 20 seconds then overthinks where to sit (which is a mood btw) THANKS FOR READING please leave a review I'm begging you


	6. Chapter 6

A/N:

Fuckin uhhh sorry that this chapter took so long to get out? Like, even longer than the last I think? I've been busy cause I've been moving, and then I got really depressed cause I was homesick (I still am, actually;;), so I decided to astral project that onto Rin as I always fucking do (lol).

Also please note that I'm also working on another fic, "a place within the sun", my Cardcaptor Hinata Shouyou crossover fic, and I also manage a pregame NDRV3 Ouma askblog game, so I have a lot to work on, but I also have to take time for myself so I'm not overwhelmed.

In short, **please don't leave a review saying "please update!"** , it's rather disappointing to get a notification for a review only to see that. Actually, it's quite— well, to be blunt, annoying. I'm very glad you enjoy my fic and want more, but please understand that this is not my job, I'm not obligated to keep writing this, and I have my own life to live. Thank you for enjoying my fic though.

More notes at the end.

* * *

 _Someone was crying._

 _Rin's shoulders shuddered and his vision blurred with angry tears. The teacher try to get close, hands raised placatingly, but it was too much. He shouts and throws the nearest object at her, eliciting a shriek from the teacher as she flinches away._

" _Rin-kun, please calm down!" One of the other teachers plead._

 _But Rin could hardly listen. His child's brain was completely overwhelmed by the years and years of memories that kept flooding his mind._

 _He always prided himself on his understanding, and his ability to solve things with communication— but his logic was no match for the childish emotions of a six year old._

" _Stupid! Can't even read yet!" One of the other kids had jeered._

" _Rin-kun can read!" Another piped in. "But he can only read English! Isn't that weird?"_

 _The kids giggled, and Rin couldn't help the frustration that bubbled into tears then. He couldn't help it— He's only a child, after all._

" _Freaky!" His friend shouted when Rin confessed to remembering things that never happened. "You're lying!"_

" _Rin-kun, I know it's fun to play make-believe, but it's not good to lie, okay?" A teacher told him when he came to her with teary eyes, overwhelmed by memories of people he knew but didn't know and missed._

" _Demon!" He was called when his strange strength was shown off, "Stupid!" He was called when he couldn't learn the same way the others could, "Freak!" He was called when he said or did things that weren't quite right for a six year old._

 _And Rin cried. He cried and flailed his arms and hit and and kicked and screamed._

 _Why wouldn't anyone understand?_

 _And everything was so loud and bright— it was so much. It was_ so _much._

 _A tiny hand takes him by the wrist and pulls, dragging him along through all the lights and the screaming sounds, away from everything that swallowed him whole._

 _Then, something soft is thrown over his head._

 _And it was dark. And it was quiet._

 _The only sounds were his own quiet hiccups as he sobbed messily into his palms._

" _Nii-san?"_

 _Rin only cries harder, some more mature part of his mind overcome with shame at his messy breakdown, but another cried with relief to hear his brother's soft voice._

"— _I want dad," Rin chokes out. He wanted his dad. He wanted his brother. He wanted to go home away from all the things that hurt and screamed and all his mistakes and angry bursts that only hurt others and made him feel worse. "I wanna— I wanna go home,"_

 _He could hear Yukio shuffle in front of him. "I'll go tell the teacher," he finally says._

 _But when he made a move to leave, Rin's heart jumped, and he reached out in a panic. "Don't leave! Please— Please, don't, don't leave me alone, I don't wanna be alone,"_

 _There's a pause, before Yukio shuffles over and sits beside him._

 _And it's quiet, for a while, until another pair of footsteps echoed down the hall._

" _Rin?"_

 _Rin's head shoots up, the blanket that covered him falling down to his shoulders. His dad was here._

 _Rin's eyes fill with more tears, and he runs towards his father, who crouches down to meet him as he leaps into his arms. His dad ran his fingers through his hair, whispering soothing words as Rin cried and snuggled into his arms._

" _Dad?" Yukio quietly speaks up._

 _Their dad smiles warmly, moving to ruffle Yukio's hair with one hand. "You did good, Yukio," he says. "I'll take Rin home, so you can go back to class—"_

" _No!" Rin whines. "Nooo! I don't want Yukio to go!"_

 _Shiro chuckles. "Alright, alright." He concedes. "Then let's all go get some ice cream, how about that?"_

 _Yukio and Rin share a glance, before Yukio beams and Rin offers a watery smile._

" _Oh, but," Shiro's lip purses as he thinks. "Rin still has to be grounded for hitting his friend."_

 _Rin stares, slack jawed. "He's not my friend! He's mean and called me freaky!" He shouts, and instantly upon doing so, he realizes how childish it sounds, and he looks down with shame. "He's not my friend." He says firmly. "... But I shouldn't hit him. Even if he's mean and rude and a jerk."_

 _Shiro ruffles his hair approvingly._

" _That's tatolog— tauta—" Yukio stutters. "That word you said that means that's just the same thing!"_

" _You mean redundant?" Shiro asks._

" _Tau-to-logic-al," Rin answers, sounding out the word slowly so it's easier for his small mouth to pronounce, and he explains it with all the pride a child can have for learning a difficult word. "A stupid fancy word for, um, repetition of an idea or word," he says, then, like an afterthought, he adds; "or whatever."_

" _And it is and he deserves it because he's mean and rude and a jerk." Rin turns his chin up._

 _Shiro laughs, taking the two boys by the hands and leading them out of the school. "Where do you learn all these random things, Rin?"_

 _Rin shrugs. "I just know."_

* * *

 _Rin is 13 and about half asleep on the floor, leaning against the bed, when his brother finally comes home._

 _Yukio enters the room with exhaustion weighing him down, not even looking at Rin as he shrugs off his coat and drapes it over the chair. With a shaking breath, he sighs, looking down at his shivering hands with haunted eyes._

" _Yukio?" Rin mumbles, quickly shaking himself from the claws of sleep._

 _Yukio_ flinches _, and whips around to face Rin with wide eyes. "Nii-san?" He says with surprise in a hushed tone of voice. "What are you still doing up? It's late."_

" _I was waiting for you." Rin answers, taking in his brother's tense shoulders and the bags under his eyes. Rin's face contorts in worry. "How are you feeling? You look..."_ You look like you've seen something awful _, he wants to say. "You look like you've had a bad day." He says instead._

 _Yukio's face scrunches up. "I'm_ fine _! You don't need to worry about me!" He nearly shouts._

 _Rin falters for a moment, then slowly, he nods. "Yeah, I don't need to." He says, watching as Yukio's lip quivers. "I don't need to, but I do anyways, 'cause I care about you." Rin pats the spot on the floor next to him. "You don't need to tell me what happened if you don't want to. One could argue that getting it off your chest might help, but counterargument; thinking about it might also stress you out more, so. Sit."_

 _Yukio stares at him, before taking off his glasses and placing them on the desk. With a sigh, he stalks over to his brother and drops down beside him. "I don't wanna talk about it." He says._

" _That's valid." Rin tells him, reaching up onto the bed and pulling off the blanket and draping it over his brother's shoulders. "You remember that mp3 I got a while ago?"_

 _Yukio blinks at the sudden topic change. "What about it?"_

 _Rin pushes himself to his feet, walking over to the desk. "I've been filling it up_ solely _with upbeat and happy songs," he says. "Cause I get really depressed sometimes, you know? It's hard, but I try to remind myself that I don't have to feel that way— I can get better, my day can get better, my mood can improve, as long as I work for it. I mean, it's not easy, and some days suck even when I try to improve it, but I find that music actually helps a lot?"_

" _Nii-san, what are you talking about?"_

" _It's self care, Yukio," Rin answers, swiping his mp3 from the desk, along with his sketchbook and mechanical pencil. "It's a learned skill, and a damn hard one to learn."_

 _It took him about seven years to even_ start _learning it._

 _Rin slumps down on the floor beside Yukio again. "Anyway, if you don't wanna talk about what's bothering you, I won't push it." He offers the mp3 and headphones to Yukio. "But don't just bottle it all up, okay? I know you're always looking out for me, but don't forget to take care of yourself too, Yukio." He says. "Take a break. Relax. Don't worry about anybody but yourself."_

 _Yukio's face scrunches up for a moment, staring at the offered mp3, before he hesitantly takes it, too tired to argue. Slipping the earbuds into his ear, he puts the mp3 on shuffle and instantly the tune of some cheerful English song is flowing into his ears._

 _Rin smiles approvingly and moves on to focus on his sketchbook, leaving Yukio to his own devices as he begins to draw. Yukio watches idly._

 _He draws for quite some time, hyper focused on his art as it takes form. Rin finally snaps out of it at some point to check on Yukio, looking up from his drawing to find Yukio leaning against the bed with his head thrown back; completely asleep._

 _Rin snorts and bites his lip to prevent a loud laugh from escaping._

" _Hey, dummy, you're gonna wake up with a sore neck if you sleep like that." He tells him pointlessly._

 _With fond amusement, Rin chuckles. Gently, he removes the headphones and takes the mp3 away from his brother, and then, carefully, as to not wake him, he slides his arms under Yukio's body and lifts him off the ground and places him on the bed. Yukio is quick to roll over and snuggle into the blankets._

 _Putting his mp3 and sketchbook away, Rin crawls into his own bed, reflecting on his words and feeling satisfied with what he'd said._

* * *

Yukio awakes quietly, blinking into consciousness blearily as he forces himself to sit up. With a glance to his clock, he finds he's awoken just a few minutes before his alarm, so he goes ahead and turns it off before it goes off. He opens his mouth and looks over to Rin's side of the room with the intent to tell him to wake up, only to find that his brother's bed is already empty, the blanket crumpled and bunched up at the end of his bed.

Yukio glances to where their uniforms had been hung up, finding that one set is now missing. He raises an eyebrow, but dismisses it for the time being as he sets about getting ready for the first day of regular classes.

Tiredly, he stumbles down the stairs of their dorm as he buttons his jacket with a yawn. He hardly reaches the last step before a voice reaches his ears. It's Rin's voice, he recognizes, coming from the dorm's cafeteria.

"— I just can't look, it's _killing meee_ ~! And taking control," Rin sings along in impressively fluent English to the mp3 player hooked up to the small speaker on the kitchen counter. "Jealousy, turning saints into the sea, swimming through sick lullabies, choking on your alibis," He twirls around the kitchen as he cooks up what appears to be breakfast. "But it's just the price I pay, destiny is calling me! Open up my _eeeaager eeeyees_! 'Cause I'm Mr. Brightside!" He belts out the lyrics with glee.

As Rin turns, he spots Yukio in the doorway, blinking in surprise before he brightens up. "Good morning!"

"Morning," Yukio replies. "You're up early."

Rin laughs sheepishly. "Aha, yeah, I woke up really early and couldn't get back to sleep," he says.

Yukio's eyes drift from Rin's red rimmed eyes to the mp3 still playing music on the counter. "Bad morning?" He asks.

Rin winces a little and leans more comfortably against the counter. "Mmmmmmyeah," he admits. "Really bad, actually." His smile seeps away and he sighs. He drums his hands on the counter and smiles again, a little weaker, but he smiles. "Buuuut, that's just the morning, right? Maybe it'll get better."

"It will," Yukio confidently agrees. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

Rin smiles wider, although a little more bittersweetly. "I... I dunno, I just got caught in my thoughts about, like, _everything_?" He shrugs. Yukio nods understandingly. "And... I think I'm... Homesick?" He hesitantly adds, as if he's not quite sure. "I guess... I just wanna go home." Rin mumbles.

"That's understandable; you've never stayed anywhere but the monastery before," Yukio says slowly, unsurely. Emotions were Rin's strong suit, not his, but damn if he wasn't willing to try.

"Yeah," Rin sighs. "I actually have no idea how to deal with homesickness," he laughs a little. "Maybe I can look it up later," he mumbles to himself.

Yukio mentally makes a note of that as well.

"Anyway! Breakfast!" Rin suddenly calls out, snapping Yukio from his thoughts. "Most important meal of the day!"

Yukio nods. "A good day starts with a good breakfast,"

Breakfast is served quickly, and the two sit down to eat whilst chatting idly. Once their stomachs were filled, they cleaned up and were soon on their way to the school. The old boy's dormitory where the two were staying was actually a little farther than the new dorm, so they have to leave a bit earlier to get to classes on time. ('On time' meaning before the other students get there. This is approved by Yukio, of course, and enforced by one Okumura Rin who wants to hurry to make sure no one takes the seat he wants.)

"You're gonna crash in the afternoon," Yukio points out as Rin happily slides into the desk in the back, farthest from the door. Yukio puts his stuff down on one of the desks in the front, but follows Rin over to the back to lean on the desk in front of Rin's in order to continue the conversation.

"Maybe so," Rin agrees, then promptly yawns.

Yukio sighs. "Will you even make it to the afternoon?"

Rin hangs his head in defeat. "Please pray for me."

"No, I don't think prayer will do you, specifically, any good."

Rin laughs tiredly, just as more students begin to trickle in. Rin looks over curiously, and is surprised to spot a familiar face among them— the punk looking guy from cram classes.

 _I think his name was Bon?_ He tries to recall. The guy spots him and Yukio in the back, and blinks in surprise. Rin waves, which the guy returns, albeit a bit awkwardly, and wanders over.

"I didn't realize we'd be in the same class, Okumura-sens— uh, san," he stutters, looking at Yukio.

"Of course," Yukio smiles. "Outside of cram school, I am just a regular student here, after all."

"I see," he says, before turning to Rin. "And you... you're the guy who fell asleep in Grimoire Lit. the other day." He blurts out, causing Rin to choke on his spit.

"I— I didn't fall asleep!" Rin defends. "I just... happened to close my eyes for a second."

Yukio swivels to him. "You fell asleep in class?"

"I did not!" Rin denies vehemently. "You can't prove anything and you will die before you do."

The other student makes a strangled noise in shock. " _Oi_ , don't threaten our fuckin' _teacher_!" He whispers harshly.

Rin turns on him. "Hey, I have legal permission to non-legitimately threaten him as his older brother." He firmly claims. This, of course, summons a laugh from Yukio, who quietly repeats ' _Legal permission?_ ' to himself in amusement.

The guy blinks. "Brother?" He repeats questioningly.

"That's right," Yukio nods with a smile. "We're twins, actually. So we're the same age."

"I'm older." Rin chimes in smugly.

Yukio rolls his eyes. "We're the same age." He repeats.

"That's exactly what the younger twin would say." Rin teases. "Anyway, I'm Okumura Rin, nice to meet you," he gives the other student a friendly smile.

"Oh, uh," he blinks, as if realizing only now that they'd never even introduced themselves. "Suguro Ryuji."

Rin maintains a friendly smile even as confusion begs him to raise an eyebrow. _Wait, where did I get 'Bon' from then?_ Then, he mentally smacks himself. _That's a nickname, dummy_. "Nice to meet you, Suguro! I hope we can get along, yeah?" He offers.

Suguro simply grunts in reply, but Rin takes that as an agreement anyway, so that's a win in his book.

"Don't think I forgot about you sleeping in class," Yukio pipes up, and Rin tenses. He laughs sheepishly and Yukio sighs. "You won't be able to stay awake today, either," he pinches the bridge of his nose. "Are you sleeping alright?"

Rin shrugs in place of an answer.

Yukio must've caught onto his hesitance, as he shook his head. "Nevermind, we'll talk about that later." He says. Before he can say anything else, however, the teacher enters the classroom and calls for everyone's attention. The trio quickly give a nod and separate, settling in for class, although Suguro gives him one last look over his shoulder before he slides into his seat near the front.

Rin slumps in his chair, resting his chin on his palm with a sigh. At least cram school classes were _new_ and _interesting_. This old stuff's gonna bore him to sleep, _easy_.

His eyelids droop without permission, and the world slowly fades without his awareness, before an old fear creeps up his spine and he jolts awake again. Rin blinks sluggishly.

 _Damnit_...

Yeah, there was no way in hell he was going to last until lunch.

* * *

A/N:

I included some more things from the past because I wanna show off some more of their different childhood, to shed more light on how Rin's memories had affected him and Yukio growing up, and give more reasons to why Yukio is so different from canon Yukio too. He's lived with this version of Rin for _fifteen_ _years_ , of course he'd have some effect on him. Still, writing Yukio is always a challenge;; I hope I can do him justice. (Probably not, but damnit if I'm not trying lmao;;)

And hooray! Rin finally formally meets Suguro! This is only the start, but I hope I'm able to do him justice too, because he's one of my favorites. I love him! He got in on a scholarship just like Yukio, so of course he's in the same class with them! I know I wrote it but I'm glad they're in the same class lol.

The playlist thing hit me at 2am when I was crying because I was depressed as fuck and then I decided I didn't wanna be depressed anymore so I made myself a playlist of happy songs I like, then I decided rebirth!Rin would _absolutely_ do that too, so I made another playlist of timeline accurate feel good songs (which is to say, songs released before april 5th 2012, since I imagine AoEx takes place roughly ~2012, and JP school starts in april so,)

Anyway it's time to play my favorite game of " _How Can I Add This Link To This A/N Without Fanfiction Dot Net Erasing It?_ " (When will this website get with the times and let us put links in our fics? This is why we stan ao3 instead...)

youtu . be/tCnBrrnOefs?list=PL-64-2cMyhiw1urC9UPGStPSLdp_OEJgr

Please enjoy this mix of 40 (varyingly) old ENG and JP bops that rebirth!Rin would listen to, put it on and smash that mf shuffle button! There's at least five Queen songs and one (1) Persona 4 song! But please imagine that Rin has the whole P4 OST illegally downloaded somewhere.

Anyway.

I SAID OOH, GIRL! SHOCK ME LIKE AN ELECTRIC EEL. BABY GIRL! TURN ME ON WITH YOUR ELECTRIC FEEL. I SAID OOH G


End file.
